Down the street, a man walks into a restaurant wearing a shirt emblazoned with the words "MEAT IS MURDER". He is shown to his seat and when the time comes to order, he asks for a ribeye steak. Confused, the waitress asks why he would order a steak if he is a vegetarian, while motioning to his shirt. Smiling, the man replies, "Oh, that? Yes, I'm a Vegetarian, but Vegetarianism is about the prevention of animal murder. Since the food in this establishment is already dead, there would be no harm in my enjoying it." When confronted about this by the waitress, the man replies, "Excuse me, ma'am, but I am a born and raised Vegetarian, and I would appreciate it if you wouldn't lecture me on my own beliefs."
Several miles outside the city, an Amish family sits down to a dinner prepared in an electric oven. Having been thinking on this for some weeks, one of the children at the table asks his father why they use an electric oven if they are Amish. The father smiles at his son and replies, "Yes, use of electricity is technically forbidden by the Amish, but there have been plenty of Amish who disagreed with that teaching. Most Amish today use some form of electricity." When confronted about this by his son, the man replies, "Excuse me, son, but I have been Amish much longer than you have, and I would appreciate it if you wouldn't lecture me on my own beliefs."
What any wise person should be asking themselves right now is, "What kind of idiot would claim one belief, then do things directly contrary to that belief?"
This kind of idiot.
Yes, that's current Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi, a woman who has absolutely no idea what she believes. Though Pelosi claims to be Catholic, she has made some version of every one of the arguments above for why she supports very un-Catholic things, such as contraception and abortion.
After pondering this for some time, I have come to the conclusion that Mrs. Pelosi suffers from a condition commonly known as "being very, very stupid". Though the condition is rarely fatal, there is, unfortunately for Mrs. Pelosi, no known cure. One of the most tragic effects of the disorder is that those afflicted by it, due to the nature of the disorder, are incapable of understanding what is wrong with them. Much like Alzheimer's or insanity, "being very, very stupid" is a disease that so infects the mind that those afflicted by it must live their lives in a daze, saying and doing things they wouldn't normally if they were only able to sit down and think about them for five seconds. One such thing, and a common symptom of the disorder, is a condition known as "Titleism". This is where a person clings desperately to a title that has nothing to do with them, simply because it's something they're familiar with. Like a teetotaler drinking beer or a vegetarian eating meat, a Catholic who supports contraception and abortion is clearly suffering from Titleism.
However, the real question that I wish to put forth is, "who is letting her do this?" Why, after all the clear cries for help that Mrs. Pelosi has made, has the proper pastoral care not been provided for her? Why has Pelosi not been excommunicated yet, for her own good? If you wouldn't admit a toddler to communion, why would you admit Nancy Pelosi?
